Embarrassingly True Blogs & Blog Posts
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- Everything's Bigfoot in Texas (part two) by Vonnegut's Asshole on Feb 9, 2009
(To read part one, go here.) Bigfooters haven't exactly received a warm reception from mainstream science, either. Dr. Henry Gee, a Senior Editor for Nature Magazine, told me that "the scientific community at large regards 'Bigfoot
- Everything's Bigfoot in Texas by Vonnegut's Asshole on Feb 2, 2009
I'll go through it all again Watch their doubtful smiles begin But the visions that I see believe in me. -John K. Samson "Bigfoot" In a high school cafetorium, a small man in his mid-70s was lecturing to a rapt audience of several h
- Down For the Sperm Count (part three) by Vonnegut's Asshole on Jan 26, 2009
(To read the first two parts, start here and then go here.) I glanced down at my watch again. I was just eight minutes and sixteen seconds away from being officially late. If the stern warnings I'd been given by many nurses were to be believed, my s
- Down For the Sperm Count (part two) by Vonnegut's Asshole on Jan 19, 2009
(To read Part One, go here.) I was fine with my role as an unapologetic outsider. All of my friends could give up on their artistic ambitions and devote themselves to raising tiny, pink versions of themselves. I didn't care. And they could judge me.
- Down For the Sperm Count by Vonnegut's Asshole on Jan 12, 2009
I slammed on the brakes a little too hard. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the dixie cup filled with my seminal fluid, gliding across the passenger side seat like a hockey puck soaring towards a goal. I reached out and grabbed it, saving my...
- The Unhappiest Place on Earth by Vonnegut's Asshole on Jan 5, 2009
(This story originally appeared, in a slightly different form, in Vanity Fair.) Christmas is just a few weeks away, and like any God-fearing American, I'm already celebrating in style. Not by shopping for gifts or spending time with my family, but d
- Everything Was Beautiful and Nothing Hurt (part 3) by Vonnegut's Asshole on Nov 17, 2008
(To read the first two parts, start here and then go here.) Reading a bunch of love letters to your late grandfather, particularly when your grandmother wasn't the one writing them, can bring up all sorts of troubling and soul-searching questions. W
